Day 52: The sum

15/05/2020

Day 52

It has been hard to wrap my head around the news of an attack in Afghanistan. Three gunmen entered a hospital in Kabul and opened fire on women, infants, doctors and nurses. What kind of anger and rage can make men do this? Among the dead are sixteen women and an infant. It is beyond my comprehension. To what level can animosities grow for someone to not spare infants? Thinking about it brought back memories of visiting Auschwitz. I am trying to understand the human mind – what drives men to inflict unbelievable violence on others. This attack defines reason. 

The lockdown diary entries have meandered in many directions. It dwelled on the momentary concerns, state of mind and often the news. However, in sum, it did deliver on the daily need to make sense of the times, even if in a scattered, limited manner. From these, I see a few value shifts happening in personal life – moving from short term to long term view; that things change and believing in change is the easiest hack to living with optimism. Also, that we get to choose the words of our narratives not others. 

I continue to make sense of the world around me, for the self, than any other reason. Lockdown days have served the role of a proof of concept – to check if this sensemaking is indeed worth it and if it is necessary to word it. It is.  

As I reflect, I am thinking of people who have demonstrated these possibilities – Viyogi Hari, Krishna Kumar, Agyey, Dharamvir Bharti, Kunwar Narayan, Mohan Rakesh, Shivani, Ismat Chughtai, Rahi Masoom Raza, Krishna Sobti, P L Deshpande, Shrilal Shukla and Ruskin Bond. In the darkness of a curtained room, on a bright summer afternoon, these are some of those who found reason in sensemaking and left it for those who followed.

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